The Lost Hour

Last week, I discussed the writing competition of Furious Fiction – a competition run by the Australian Writer’s Centre in which you are given 55 hours to write a piece of 500 words or less using the prompts that they give yon on the first Friday of every month. October’s prompts were interesting to say the least:

October’s (2018) Prompts

  1. Your story’s title must be THE LOST HOUR (and it should relate to the content of your story in some way).
  2. Your story must include the phrase IT WAS LIGHTER – either as part of a sentence or as a sentence on its own.
  3. Your story must include a sentence with the names of at least THREE COLOURS in it.

And without further ado, here was what I came up with!


The Lost Hour

Why did you do it?”

Ernest woke up from what seemed like an endless slumber greeted by the sound of a discordant voice and tenebrous surrounds. The words were reverberating like an auditory haze, softly kerranging in the darkness. A sonic mirage of an ethereal voice desperate to invite him with an evocative sadness tinged with regret.

“Ugh. What did I get myself into now?” the young man with chagrin.

Disoriented and bewildered by his predicament, Ernest slowly walked towards a glint of light he could see far off in the distance. His footsteps were reluctant, plagued with the fear of his uncertainty only mediated by the hope of his false bravado. A deep meditation he held onto closely in his perplexed conscience. While dread was evident in the trepidation he felt in his bones.

There he was greeted by a veiled woman who sat at a table surrounded by limited candle light and a crystal ball. Her face was barely distinguishable, and body enveloped in black clothing and shadows.

“So, you’ve finally woken up,” she said in an accent unfamiliar to Ernest.

“Mind explaining to me where the hell I am?”

The veiled woman chuckled, caressing her hands over the flame of the candle with delicate motions. Her fingers conducted the shadows imposed over the tabletop as if she were playing a gentle pavane.

“You tell me. You know this place better than I do.”

Ernest was taken aback. “What do you mean by that?”

“Well. What happened before you met me?” the woman replied.

“I don’t know… I heard a voice calling out to me and suddenly I woke up to find myself here.”

“Why did you do it?” the enigmatic voice returned, its forlorn cadence growing more apparent.

“THAT one! That’s the voice I heard!” he cried out. But the veiled woman remained impartial.

“So, you mean to tell me you just woke up approached me and assumed I would know what’s going on with you? You know what they say about assumptions.”

The veiled woman wearily sighed

“They call places like this the Lost Hour. It’s the liminal plane you go to after you die. It’s basically the waiting room until they decide what to do with your soul.”

“After what?!”

“Funnily enough, the hour bit is a misnomer. Since you’re dead – time is kind of irrelevant and it could be an eternity before they actually decide on what to do with you.”

Ernest recoiled in shock. His body felt heavy. He shut his eyes tightly, wanting to escape the darkness he was in.

“The people I’ve looked after usually have memories full of colour and vibrancy in their Lost Hours. It was lighter and brighter than this. Passionate reds, happy yellows, cool and reflective blues. Memories of happier days. But yours… It’s a self-imposed limbo. Just nothing.”

The veiled woman paused and stared directly at Ernest.

“You know what you did Ernest. This place is just a reflection of what you think you deserve.”

(499 words)


 

Writer’s Reflection

While I was happy the setting wasn’t confined to a setting (an airport for last month), these prompts certainly pose more of a challenge. Firstly, I absolutely love titles and very inventive ones – and I’ve been praised with the titles I come up with a lot of the times. Sometimes a title can really enhance the story you’re writing or even inspire you to write further when you come up with a good one. Traditionally, a lot of writers advise the title come AFTER you’ve actually written the story – but generally (even with essays, research reports and my thesis – I came up with the title BEFORE the piece). It is true however that titles should not be something that you mull over for a long period of time because trying to come up with a good one can lead to procrastinating on actually writing the piece.

Before coming into this piece – I actually had a short story idea in mind that was basically this premise. However, due to the word limit – how I reduced the concept was actually forming another sort of “mystery” element to the story. Without saying too much – the original idea involved actually already “knowing” what Ernest did – but trying to explore why he did it. However fitting that all in 500 words was going to be a massive challenge – so I left it to the reader’s interpretation.

I wouldn’t blame you if you thought the piece was a bit lazy – sharing a LOT in common with September piece The Longing Days of Hope. The story being introduced with something being said, the resolution sort of being explained at the end – but rather the focus being on the interactions with the environments and between two characters. That was somewhat intentional considering had these pieces been published – readers who’d follow on would eventually see a thread of stories that are connected either superficially or Ernest being the protagonist of The Longing Days of Hope and Curtains of Smoke. 

The initial title for the story was “Lost In The Lights” (an ironic title – since, in this scene Ernest spends most of the time he spends his time in the dark). The veiled woman was a character inspired by a dream I constantly had since 10 years ago where I’d see a veiled woman in the background of a continuous dream I had until she just vanished. I had written a story of her and those dreams awhile ago – but I’ve lost the files, but I wanted to pay homage to her again because she fascinated me.

Other titles included Veruca (which I was planning to call the veiled woman) and The Soul Stoker. 

A lot of the writing process eventually ended up being a matter of fitting the initial idea I had for a few months and trying to piece it together with the prompts. Unfortunately that did mean the forced dialogue (particularly the last one about colours). I do plan on expanding and writing more of this story in the future. And other than a few things (dialogue in particular), I was happy with this entry (despite it not winning or being shortlisted).

I won’t say anymore – but I would love to know what you think about the piece. And what did you think Ernest did? Feel free to comment below and I will happily accept feedback and reply to any questions you have.

Onto the next mission!
C.

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