After almost a month has passed since the Swinburne Microfiction Challenge. Despite having quite lengthy reflections on the pieces I wrote – I think it’s been enough time to really give my personal reflections on the entire competition itself and also my final thoughts and little tidbits of trivia I might not (or might have… I’m pretty forgetful) about the processes, inspirations and overall thoughts on how the stories came to be. Additionally, I will be going over a little more extensively my thoughts on the results and the winners – and judging by the title of this post – it’s going to get a little controversial. I have initially said quite complimentary things about all the pieces – but I’m going to be a little less PC and give you my thoughts after reading them over again. Honey, weaves are going to be pulled. Watch out.
How I will do this is bit by bit and prompt by prompt. Winners were released quite soon after prompts were released so I thought it would be better to go over things chronologically.
How I Came To The Competition
After having two stints with Furious Fiction, I was looking into other writing competitions and came across this competition from a google search. Despite not winning any of the furious fictions – my love for writing sort of reinvigorated and finding out similar competitions to furious fiction could only be a good thing to slowly work my way to exploring more mediums within writing. I think they have done this competition for a few years and it’s an honour to just be short-listed with these competitions. What intrigued me further was the fact it truly was furious fiction. A story every day for 5 days? Last years was 10 days!
One Word Prompts, Writing Everyday
One of the strange things about creativity is that sometimes, restrictions can be an easier option. Having really only experienced having a visual stimulus to work off of with the Geelong Anthology and 3 rules implemented by Furious Fiction – a one-word prompt that allows a lot of freedom would seem like a good thing right? Initially, I thought so, but as the day came for the first prompt – I actually really struggled as I was so used to having much more constraints.
Gardens of Waste
Approaching the “machine” prompt was actually quite nerve-wracking for me. Believe or not, I was actually really nervous when the challenge started. Thoughts in my mind were things like; “would I have an idea?”, “should I write true to myself or what they would like?” and “am I even good enough to write flash fiction?”. Mind you, I had news that two of my flash fiction pieces that I wrote for the Geelong Anthology was going to be published – but I really doubted myself and the whole competition started to really weigh heavily on me. I started doubting my abilities because Furious Fiction hadn’t gone too well – and the enjoyment of writing felt like it was slipping away. “Was that accomplishment of getting published with Geelong Writers just a fluke?” – that was my first foray into flash fiction…
A lot of despair happened around this time. Anxiety took over. What I had slowly developed was loving the process rather than focus solely on the result of getting published or winning and then getting extremely negative on the massive possibility that it wasn’t going to happen and that I would never win. I reflected on the times where everyone kept praising my writing – but what did I have to show for it? I have an article that got published in the local newspaper 10 years ago, the student newspaper at year 12, some university contributions and a few online articles. Where was the Charles that was “so talented” that he would’ve written a book by now? Then that delved into why I never got into music, despite having a “good voice”? Or acting because I was really good at it. Or why I never could muster the words and confidence to confess my love for certain people over the years. Why relationships never worked out. Why I couldn’t find anyone. Why I can’t drive a car. Why nothing in my life seemed stable. What was I doing with my life?
It spiralled. It really did.
I think that’s probably why I’m incredibly harsh on this entry. I felt like this challenge was a perfect way to have a blank slate and just forget everything in the past. How inventive or experimental could I possibly get? Maybe I should change my voice? If I wasn’t getting published because of how I wrote, maybe I should change that all together? What was wrong with me?
This story was symbolic of what felt like a cop out. Mind you, I didn’t have the original copy of the story this was based on at the time – but it wasn’t a new idea. It was one I wrote about almost 10 years ago – of what I remembered. That scene people kept talking about when they read it. The scene about where it implied the future didn’t involve nature to the point where people forgot all about it. Where technology wasn’t just an application, it slowly made us heartless.
For the record – I slowly became more warmer with this entry much later (as in, a month later) when I came across the actual piece that this was inspired by – and actually how different it really was. But I’m skipping ahead here.
The First Winner: Theseus
Now here’s where the controversy starts. I promised honesty – I will give you honesty. I actually got a little upset about when this result happened. Not because I thought Gardens of Waste deserved to win. At the time, I really hated Gardens of Waste. But I got upset over the fact that initially – Seizure or whoever was running this competition actually had a fault in their system concerning confirmations of entries. When you would submit your piece, while you didn’t get an email confirming that they got the entry. I got extremely suspicious and people started questioning whether their entries for machine were actually received. Questions arose when they were accepting entries for Body however the winner for Machine wasn’t announced yet.
Now I don’t doubt the quality of writing presented in Georgia Coldebella’s Theseus. It’s very beautifully written. The storytelling was vivid, so detailed and the narrative voice was strong. Possibly the best out of the eventual winners in terms of that aspect of writing. I just couldn’t see how it related to the prompt. This seemed much more appropriate for the prompt body. The story itself was a rumination on the protagonist’s body and juxtaposed it with the fable of the boat. Had this won for body (or even ocean), I would have no objections concerning the relevance of the choice. But for machine – it seemed incredibly loose. I concluded that possibly the judges felt the juxtaposition of the human body and the fable could relate to how machines work – and the line when is a thing no longer a thing a very loose connection to the prompt.
It got pretty ugly. And I’ll admit I was bitter. Bitter for the fact that something that seemed much more suited to the future prompts (and mind you, results for the first winner didn’t come out UNTIL the 3rd prompt SPOKE came out. My conspiracy hat was on – where I believed in the possibility that entries for machine and body were actually compiled together and something that was actually purposed to enter for body won for machine.
I really wanted to see the justification from the judges on why they picked this entry for machine. But I knew I couldn’t linger too much about conspiracy. I just wanted to write quality stories.
Flash forward – this entry was the eventual overall winner in the competition, and I do genuinely congratulate Georgia for her achievement and Theseus is a well written piece. I got over the whole conspiracy pretty quickly. I didn’t have time to be bitter. And I give credit where it’s due despite my feelings about things. Writers should support writers.
Fossils (Body Neurotic)
The title of this story came out first. I wanted to have a play on the term Body Electric. But the idea definitely came from a stream of KT Tunstall videos concerning her talking about her album Wax. I was going on HORRENDOUS dates before the impetus of this story – but the spark of inspiration actually came from the fact that I’d be so incredibly nervous going out anywhere. I hated getting my picture taken, or just going anywhere because I’d get so down on my appearance and often I’d have to feign confidence in every social setting I could – or just risk really not talking to anyone. And I really hate disingenuousness. So I wanted to combine the two things together (a horrific date scenario and the anxieties associated with opening up due to body image) to hopefully end up creating an uplifting story.
There’s a song (which I included on the complementary playlist) from KT Tunstall called “Dark Side of Me” that inspired the story. It was about the fear of revealing the ugly parts of yourself to someone else and warning everyone that they could get hurt. In the end though, I think the mission statement was trying to just accept yourself and not be scared to share the dark sides of yourself. Cut through the facade and understand that everyone’s the same – and that everyone’s got flaws – but it doesn’t mean it’s not worth sharing it.
Originally the story the descent into madness was meant to be a few lines – but eventually the date came in and had a conversation revealing their scars to settle the protagonist down and a bond would be shared as they both have scars. The importance of fossils coming from the fact that scars are what we leave behind of ourselves and others – and the older we get, the more evident they become. So you learn to accept them and find people that are willing to accept them as well.
Of course – the end product ended up being all about the neuroses and nothing else – which I got really down on myself about. After Gardens of Waste – I wanted this story to be a sort of glimmer of hope. It’s too easy writing sad or bleak stories. I wanted a somewhat happy story at least. But I settled on this entry as I felt the anxiety was both dark subject matter but also comedic in a way. That being said, I really disliked this entry (more than Gardens of Waste) because after I had finished it, I didn’t even bother proof reading it and just submitted it. It was only until I wrote the post and reflection for it that I read it once more.
But it was a much more “honest” piece of writing that I wrote. I related to it, so I tried to go with an angle so readers could possibly relate to it as well. In one of KT’s interviews, she really hammered the point home that “honest” work is the best work. And this was my way to write to that.
A Leading Man in Space
I had watched the Microfiction Clinic a few times at this point – and I learned two things from it. Gardens of Waste was definitely not a contender because it felt like a purposefully condensed story (which in reality, it was). And my entries so far were on the long side which both the judges didn’t like. Fossils – I’ll admit was purposefully catered towards the judging. It was an entry of a singular moment that was more character based than plot based. As far as I remember, I think it was slightly shorter too. But I ended up disliking it.
So I was really at a crossroads. Should I just write for me, or do I write for the judges? I reflected on the pieces that ended up getting chosen for the Geelong Anthology (2018) – where it picked up upon the judge’s observation concerning how flash fiction – due to their limited word count generally went with a route that sometimes had an element of mystery. You don’t have enough words to build a landscape or setting, or an intricate plot. But you could always leave the readers with questions.
When I wrote A Leading Man in Space, there’s a scene in Cowboy Bebop that really resonated with me. It’s near the end of the first episode where the girlfriend of the criminal (antagonist of the episode) looked at the inevitability of her death, sitting at her spaceship with her drug crazed boyfriend trying to evade the authorities trying to capture them. They had plan to use the money from the drugs to escape and have a better life – but her boyfriend’s drug habits (possibly due to marketing the drugs and demonstrating) got the better of him. It was that inevitability that I wanted to capture – the inevitability of not being able to escape or have the life you always wanted.
The origin for this story actually started with that Cowboy Bebop episode AND myself wanting to watch First Man with Ryan Gosling in the cinema (I still haven’t seen it as of this post). But rather than having all that plot – I wanted to make it more real. So I referred back to a character concept I had of “Rudy” who was the protagonist of an old story called the Discords of Radiance that I wrote around the same time the story Gardens of Waste was based on. From what I remember (I completely lost the file to this story – and don’t have any copies of it – or haven’t read it in almost 10 years), Rudy was a character that was extremely sick and spent half his time scared he was about to die and not get to experience the things like travelling the world. And the second half – he comes to accept his demise, but tries to encourage his friends to live life to the fullest. The Olive Brunch is the cafe they go to in the mid-way point of the story where it was the symbolic turning point of accepting his death. He was making peace with himself that he was going to die.
Of course ALL this was way too excessive to fit in below 500 words, so instead of that entire background – I wanted to work with the fact that Rudy was just someone that was skeptical about his chance to see space. I threw in some allusions to the fact he was sick (but it could be interpreted otherwise that he had an immature outlook) and it really was just a collection of musings that made everything ordinary but ambiguous at the same time.
I took to heart the honesty approach that KT Tunstall promoted and I had used for Fossils. I really do want to see space. I want to meet aliens. I used to dream of being the Doctor’s companion in Doctor Who when I was watching it as a child and saw repeat episodes of Tom Baker’s era at the obscure hours of the day and when I returned to the series watching it with David Tennant as the Doctor. I wanted to travel through time and space and save the world. I spent all of my childhood and high school years wanting it and wishing for it on my birthdays. I still kind of do now, but I’ve slowly accepted that I’d probably die before any of that happens. I’ll never see the stars. I’ll never see space. I’ll never be friends with aliens. And I’ll probably never save the world.
I really like this story because in a way it was my most genuine one. Even reading back at it now – I really don’t know what it’s all meant to be. It could mean so many things – but it’s just a mundane story about every day life. I don’t even think Rudy is me even though for the most part – a lot of elements of him come from me personally. A story where even the writer isn’t confident in telling you what it means – that’s a good thing in my eyes. We aren’t authorities of meaning. We just convey it. It’s really up to you to figure it out.
Time’s Anchor
I think at this point, I started to really rebel against the whole notion of “writing to the judges” – because after Fossils, I felt like that just wasn’t a good idea. I wasn’t enjoying the process as much where I wanted to write truthfully but had the little black cloud over my head to suggest I was writing for someone to just reject it coldly. I’m more comfortable writing third person because I don’t like drowning into character voice too much – I get quickly irritated by narcissism. And I had already written two stories in a row in first person, so I wanted to shift to a more personal approach but with a third person perspective.
I call this story the “rebellion” story because I basically took their advice and threw it back in their faces with what I wanted to do. Of course, a man wallowing about his lost love isn’t exactly a rebellious story. But making it shorter because they like short stories? Nope. Too much setting building and descriptions? Oh boy I’ll throw in as many as I can (tastefully). Obscure references but extremely personal for me? Let’s throw some in. This is the kind of writing I like to do. Setting is a character. Every sentence means so much. There’s no line wasted because everything’s important in multiple ways. But ultimately writing is about creating an experience to immerse the reader in.
However the INITIAL story was much more different than this. I was going to base this story on a long distance relationship I had a few years ago. Purely cyber, although skype and visuals involved as well. The ocean was going to be symbolic of the distance and love we had for each other despite our eventual parting of ways. Like two ships in the night, or parallel lines, we never would meet and there will always be distance but we’d always see each other. This became too difficult to write about and I didn’t want to cheapen my experience – so I settled for a different approach.
I really didn’t want this story to be based at the beach at all or have a physical manifestation of the ocean – but I got too worried that I’d lose the connection to the prompt entirely. So I thought – the disco is a really great setting. Let’s create a mood of the ocean with just being at a disco.
I think one of the faults I had with this story was being way too heavy handed with the language relating to ocean. It’s pretty obvious what I was trying to do. Eventually I thought “just make it a beachside disco”.
I love imagery and symbolism. It’s the reason why gothic literature and authors like Virginia Woolf and F.Scott Fitzgerald are my favourites. Every word and line is a meaning. I really wanted to recreate it with this story. Whether I achieve it or not is up to the readers – but for awhile, I felt like this was my strongest contender.
Showstopper and the Second Winner: Murder In The Consulate
Showstopper came pretty quickly. At this point – I was physically and mentally exhausted. This competition fell at a time where I was going out every single day and had little time to write for ALL days (plus Furious Fiction had come out). At this point I just wanted to be done with the competition and wrote about something as simple as I could. But I tried to be clever and used the prompt in all the ways I could imagine it would be interpreted in the story. The closeness of others forming connections, the end of a show or “close” and the “closing” song. In my signature way of ironically twisting titles and expectations – I didn’t want to write a story of a someone winning everyone over with a grand finale, but rather the “win” being that they really connected with someone. It’s a lesson in humility. And it’s a sweet message I like.
While Showstopper was quickly written – the second winner Dan Vasey’s Murder In The Consulate had come out around the time I was writing. Finally. And I loved this entry. Aside from what you could suggest was bitterness over the first winner – this winner actually addressed the prompt DIRECTLY. And was hilarious. And was meta. And was relevant. And was clever. And was inventive. And kind of took the piss out of the competition itself (well I interpreted it that way). This immediately became my favourite as soon as I read it. It was also everything the judges say they liked said in the rather long winded microfiction clinic. I love this entry. It’s a very different style from my own – but it had so many elements, I really appreciated it. It felt complete. It is exemplary.
Speaking personally, I’m quite sad to say not much went into Showstopper. Like Fossils it was just a quick story I wrote that was inspired by a few concert experiences and some videos and articles I read online about the struggles of live performance. Also I was quite exhausted and really just wanted to get it over and done with. That being said – I am happy with this story (I by no means hate it). It’s a sweet love letter to the many artists I love, saying I’ll forever be a fan – even when the crowd goes against you for not doing something they like.
The Remaining Winners
At this point, the writing component of the competition was over for us – and we were just waiting for the winners. The third was Jennifer Nguyen’s Please Don’t Eat My Eggs. That was a very, very strong entry. I remember reading it for the first time as it came out and I just loved her way with making the protagonist so personable and relatable. It reminds me of the scene in the Simpsons where Homer tries to convince himself not to eat the last piece of the donut so his soul doesn’t get exchanged to the devil by writing a post it note on the donut and leaving it in the fridge. The character voice of this was strong – but it’s also very simple – much like the previous winner.
The fourth winner was Michelle Goldsmith’s Dear Sister and what a story it is. Visually stunning, a really strong character voice. It’s like an epic in such a short amount of words and space – but it comes alive with every sentence after the other. It has such fantasy elements and there’s so much life and emotion in this story. There’s an abundance of beauty in this story.
The fifth winner was Linda Godfrey’s Birthday Party. Don’t get me started. This was a mess. An absolute mess. I know I said kind words on my initial post about this entry and be mindful this is my opinion and you’re free to disagree. And I really don’t mean to hurt any feelings (and at the end of the day, the joke’s on me, because I didn’t win any of the prompts, so I look like the complete loser at the end of the day). But what the hell was this?
Firstly, you can argue how I was being bitter about the first winner, but what the hell did this have to do with the “close” prompt? That relatives were at a birthday party for someone? Okay, I will concede that point? Was the “genius” of this entry meant to be the fact that the words and sentences felt so close together with heavy, suffocating sentences that felt more like reading an incomprehensible text message posed as a story? (See what I did there? It’s not hard to do).
This was sincerely an unpleasant read. It didn’t feel like a story. It felt like a rushed entry. Like complete manic word vomit. Pot meet kettle, true. Showstopper was a rushed entry too, but this was horrific to read. I tried to appreciate it on its merits – which I suppose was the clustered feeling of it all. Maybe I’m missing something. But even if I was, I don’t want to know. I’ve only read this three times. When it was announced. When I wrote the post for Showstopper. And now, as I’m reflecting on the winners.
I literally threw my hands up in the air. How was this a winner? Did the organisers just feel the same way and picked an entry at random? Did they try to pull a stunt to get more readers to go for the most outrageously unpleasant entry to stir up controversy? It’s deliberations like this that REALLY cry out for some feedback at the end of these competitions. Had this actually WON the whole thing – I would have seriously questioned the credibility of the organisers.
And at the end – I don’t mean any offense to Linda Godfrey at all. She’s the actual winner, so the the joke really is on me. I just fervently disagree with this being a winning entry. I’m sure plenty of entries were overlooked over this that were more deserving.
Now here’s were I very obviously rip off the format from my friend Ruth from her entry pertaining to the same topic. In this section I’ll be ranking the entries to my preference after HEAVY reflection. The topics will be my own entries, the entries of the winners and the entries from my friend Ruth.
My Entries
My Ranking
- A Leading Man In Space: After quite a lot of discussion with my friend Ruth, I’ve garnered a better appreciation for this story than I previously did. For awhile, I ranked Time’s Anchor as my favourite and strongest contender – but overall I always came back to this one when it came to reading it and appreciating it. What wins me over was that it was very personal, raw, and honest – as well as having what I really love about writing and reading – multiple interpretations. The minimal dialogue despite it actually being a conversation heavy story is also something I like. They don’t really say anything – but it’s still meaningful at the same time.
- Time’s Anchor: While this was initially my favourite entry, I think it loses out to A Leading Man In Space only because it did feel like after a bit – it was just a story about a man wallowing. I’m still very happy with this piece and think it was probably the strongest entry I had – but after more read throughs and discussions, my opinion did change.
- Gardens of Waste: Did this surprise you? After I did accept that it was okay to revisit some ideas I really enjoyed this entry. I do think it was a little bit rushed towards the end, but there was a LOT of heavy social commentary here embedded in a simple story. I’m proud of what I came up with in such little words while telling a pretty important story with a strong message.
- Showstopper: Although I did love the message of the story and did recall lots of fond memories writing it, I did feel that it was a “blah” entry compared to the others. Don’t get me wrong, I do still love it and I am proud of the story, but I feel the first three listed were much stronger entries overall.
- Fossils (Body Neurotic): I don’t hate this entry despite the impression I might give. I think what really weighs on me were the drastic changes that the story took in a way I didn’t like it. I still appreciate it though.
Winning Entries
Here’s what my winning list would look like ranked.
- Dan Vasey’s Murder In The Consulate – It definitely was a difficult pick for number 1 because there were two clear favourites. But as I went over the stories again, this one I felt was the best. It doesn’t have the imagery or a lot of the technical aspects of writing for a “beautiful” piece – but it’s layers upon layers clever, sharp, fun, succinct and overall what the flash fiction judges really wanted and it’s an enjoyable read over and over again.
- Michelle Goldsmith’s Dear Sister – However this was the clear second. Such powerful dialogue and just an amazing tale that just keeps developing and creating such an amazing story. You really feel the ocean in the words, the flow of the story both technically and visually. I think over multiple readings – I prefer the simplicity and cleverness of Dan Vasey’s entry slightly more. But ever so slight. Maybe when I get back to reading these again, this could be number 1.
- Georgia Coldebella’s Theseus – Throwing aside the bitterness period I had over this winning the first prompt – I appreciate this story. Technically great, powerful descriptions and a clever juxtaposition of elements that came together quite nicely. While akin to Michelle Goldsmith’s entry, I didn’t find it as compelling nor did it feel it had a strong narrative drive.
- Jennifer Nguyen’s Please Don’t Eat My Eggs – This was a great entry. The sense of character is so clear with the way the author writes. There is some great imagery in it as well. Despite being in this place, this by no means, means this is a bad entry. I just didn’t find it as compelling or technically as good at the ones listed above.
- Linda Godfrey’s Birthday Party – I think the less said about this, the better. In all seriousness, I did try to see the merits (and there are some). I just found this unpleasant to read.
Ruth Elizabeth’s Entries
Now this is where I’ll be ranking my friend Ruth’s entries. I have high praise for Ruth’s writing. From what I’ve seen with this challenge and furious fiction – she has a brilliant mind. Clever, inventive and absolutely deliciously dark. I could never come up with the things that she comes up with. And through her entries – I’ve also seen that she’s very adaptable and versatile with her writing. Although her stories delve into the more darker realm, she’s been able to genre and technically shift her writing in a myriad of ways.
- Day 3 (Spoke) – Jinxed – I know how Ruth will feel about me putting this story up first, but I thought this story was complete genius. The subconscious being this menacing figure just commentating and lurking in the dark in the pits of the mind. And the thing is… I can’t even say definitively that is what it actually is. Funnily enough I see the similarities with both our spoke entries, where there’s quite a bit ambiguous in the stories.
- Day 1 (Machine) – Gizmo – I love good sci-fi and this one just takes you on an adventure from the first sentence and leaves you wanting more with the subsequent sentences.
- Day 2 (Body) – The House – This story was akin Jinxed, but I felt Ruth did the things in Jinxed better and more cleverly. This by no means is a bad entry. She builds the suspense and builds the tension and atmosphere really, really well here.
- Day 5 (Close) – Pages of a Love Torn Book – This was a really sweet story and a major genre shift compared to the rest of the stories Ruth wrote for the competition. You can really get the feeling of how “close” the characters are from just a simple story and gesture. While it was definitely a tonal shift – I do feel like Ruth’s strengths lie in her darker stories.
- Day 4 (Ocean) – Sensations of the Depth – I think the less said about this, the better. I jest of course. This was far from her best. It retained the dark elements but felt very unfocused. Her alternative story was MUCH stronger. Had that been an entry – I would have actually ranked that possibly above Jinxed.
Overall it’s been a very big learning experience. I really enjoyed writing for this challenge and I’m hoping to enter next year and keep on improving.
C.
The Olive Brunch 