The Voyage of Strings

They say words can sometimes be medicine to the mind. I’d like to think words also have the power to mend the heart and soul as well.

At the start of this month I tried to kick-start an initiative known as the Inspire in July series. This is where I post a quote I relate to on nearly all my social media accounts every day in July. What I found when I was very blue in some days was I’d look for quotes for guidance. In a way, this is a way instead of relying on just words, but the combination of both words and images in hopes that it’ll be seen and it will help people in a positive light. Likes or comments are unnecessary and I’m not looking for any testimonials, just as long as people are that little less lonelier and that little more happier or empowered by quotes from some of the most remarkable, inspirational people of our world.

A lot of it springs from a bit of my insecurities and social anxiety. I’m not one that can easily “connect” with people due to how soul crushing and terrifying some social events can seem. Ever since my stint at summer school, I’ve put more effort in trying to keep anxiety in check. Of course, this can present some challenges in my personal and professional life, being a teacher, educator and many other facets of life, schmoozing is an art form and people fall into a wide, diverse spectrum of social events being easy or difficult. And the reservation of both feelings and actions generally gives off a negative impression towards others.

In a way, both anxiety and lack of confidence not only bled into these factors of my life, but also for my own growth and motivation on the things I truly love. But every day when I read a quote, saw a motivating picture or listened to the many stories my friends, students, family and even strangers who were friendly and approachable shared, I always felt a little better knowing that despite my disparate and isolated nature, I was not alone in this world. Then I think about the times I’d laugh remembering a smile from a friendly stranger, or how happy I was when I made other people laugh with my jokes. I think about the times where I had come from a bad conflict, a massive worry I had about a world issue or when I struggle constantly with the anxiety I had over myself and knew those were the things I lived for. To make someone’s day a little more special, better whether it was with words, images or actions. That smile would make me that little bit hopeful, that laugh a little bit brighter and that exchange of gratitude all the more worth it.

Some can judge and say that is a little bit sad. But I wouldn’t hold that against anyone. I am a sad person. Hey, they say the first step to getting over an addiction is owning up to it right? I don’t think there’s anything wrong with admitting that you might be unhappy. A lot of us are. My way of revolutionizing that mentality is to ensure that people I do come across are happy. Sometimes I will succeed, and there will be hard times where I’ll fail miserably. I’ll hurt and no matter how many times I try… I’ll hurt again. But I’ve learned that the people you care about will hurt you too. And even at the midst of our adversities, we see each other not only for our accomplishments and successes, but our setbacks and downfalls. And even though some people may leave, some of us stay. I’m no stranger to people leaving me in my life and although in the past I used to meander and be hopeful of the prospects of their return, it’s not an issue anymore. We grow apart… as much as we grow together.

We meet some of the most interesting, amazing and terrifying people maybe for a lifetime or even for a moment. With the power of technology, we can meet and form relationships with such diverse characters and connect in ways we can possibly never imagine even just a few years ago.

Even though I haven’t written anything for months, the optimist in me hopes that in some way, my words resonate with the hearts and minds of those who happen to read them.

And that’s all I can ever ask for.

C.

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