The Opener (Part I)

Happy New Year!

I know I’m almost a fortnight late but I have a strange disposition to be fashionably late with updates and writings. This is me officially writing intensively for the first time, well not counting the first time i ordered a bunch of presents over online for Christmas or typing long emails with new pen-pals I’ve made over the Internet. Or strict resume writing. I always feel like writing a resume is like going on a relationship website. Writing about how suited you are for the job is like telling a stranger how much of a catch you are. My natural self-deprecating nature loves telling the truth (on the merits of honesty and flair… to not much success unfortunately!). Prospective employers will be happy to note the guy that accidentally left his name out and has a lot of spelling errors with the “more to love body-shape and despondent due to awareness of rapid aging” self-assessment is mine. Back when I was younger, I used to think it was preposterous finding love over the Internet… Now I have come to terms that it can actually happen on a personal level. Funny how time changes people. Glad to know my honesty filter has only become stronger with age.

I have a weird habit celebrating Christmas inappropriately. Right now, my music playlist is filled to the brim with Christmas songs and with jolly, I am belting them out without much consideration to the sleepers of my household or neighbourhood ear-drums. I never sing songs at Christmas, nor do I celebrate it with an intense passion as many do but I love the premise. Subconsciously, I must be telling myself that I want to treat every day like Christmas. Why only have a family roast on December 25th? Or why only be nice on that day. Be nice everyday. You don’t need a special day to do that. Although my subconscious told me that the bottle of Jim Bean was just ordinary coke when I was four years old and I drank like a fish and have the memory retention of one as well (although I do remember understanding other babies in our foreign language of cries and coos like how it is in Rugrats or adults with The Only Way is Essex).

People find it strange I’m singing celebratory and seasonal songs out of season. But much like the tragic fashion victim I am, being ruled by trends is somewhat of a silly thought. It would be strange to see a young man on a bus singing Merry Christmas in the jolly months of January. I’m aware of the predicament of me looking like an overzealous Christmas enthusiast but I’ve started to embrace the wacky sides of my nature.

Through a lot of my break I’ve been corresponding with extremely nice people over the Internet who I refer to as my pen pals (although they technically aren’t, but we share a lot of stuff about our lives with each other) who have a myriad of what would constitute as problems of the cranium in a popular setting. But hearing about their lives, they are probably some of the most well-accomplished, entertaining, passionate, compassionate and intelligent people I’ve had the fortune of conversing. For every disability, disorder or “condition” we highlight, we need to frequently remind ourselves that inside all of us – is a little “abnormal” to the social standards that are placed on a rocky pedestal. We all stray from the norm – and although striving for normalcy is a valiant attempt – social deviance that is not harmful, invasive or a breach of any ethical behaviour should be accepted.

There’s a lot in society that make us feel insecure about who we really are. Being heavier, strange, intelligent, passionate or quirky seem to be the bigger ones and we place pressure into things that don’t fit a specific mold. Ones that aren’t dictated by us nor ones we reach ourselves.

This year, if 2014 is anything to go by, a lesson I’m taking from it is not feeling ashamed about myself and not to let the internal thoughts nor external influences try to shame or kill the passions I have, or the person I am. I hope that lesson transfers to everyone too. The sooner we open our eyes to realize we are human, we all struggle and we should live in harmony and then we can live in a productive and happier place.

This will be our year.

C.R

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